Thriving amid the hustle and bustle of city life with two careers and a busy social calendar, a woman in her 30s gets some shocking news during a routine appointment.
Alexis Kidd was only 37 when she was diagnosed with peritoneal mesothelioma after undergoing gallbladder surgery in 2007.
The past 18 years of Alexis’s life with mesothelioma have included an unbreakable once-in-a-lifetime romance, inspirational connections with friends who have become family, life-extending but grueling medical procedures, and 10 cats who share in her love and happiness.
“All I can do is attempt to create something good with my existence. And if I can help give even one person a small bit of hope, then this life of mine is worth something.”
Now, she’s sharing her story with Mesothelioma Hope. It’s an honest look at the life of a young woman whose world was forever altered by an extremely rare diagnosis she never saw coming.
A Disruptive Mesothelioma Diagnosis
Before mesothelioma, I was an active thirtysomething living my best life in the heart of Houston. I rocked an office job on weekdays and worked at a local boutique on weekends.
I had a busy and fulfilling social life that involved Wednesday night dinners with friends, enjoying live music, going to art shows, and playing video games with my roommate. The guy I was crazy about, whom I eventually married, was a musician in a band, and we both rode our scooters together everywhere.
The day of my diagnosis is one I will never forget. I thought I was just going in for a routine follow-up after gallbladder surgery. I even planned to celebrate my now-husband Christian’s birthday that night. But as we sat in the doctor’s office, my whole life changed.
“On the day of my diagnosis, I was completely bewildered. It’s a lot easier to put that day into perspective now, but for a long time it was so confusing how things unfolded..”
I was told a tissue sample had been scraped from my diaphragm during my gallbladder surgery. When the pathologist said it was cancer, no one could believe it, so they sent the sample to MD Anderson Cancer Center for a second opinion. They confirmed I did have mesothelioma.
Alexis isn’t alone in getting an unexpected diagnosis. Many others have walked this path and found hope along the way. Read their stories in our Free Survivors Guide.
In the Dark About Asbestos Exposure
As the doctor explained my diagnosis, he told me that mesothelioma is caused by asbestos exposure. He pressed me to recall how I might have encountered asbestos.
When I couldn’t answer, he began to get angry. I couldn’t understand why he was mad. Looking back, I realize he was searching for an explanation. Here was this young woman with a rare cancer in an extremely unusual area of her body. There has to be a reason, and surely she must know why.
But the truth is, I still don’t know how or when I was exposed to asbestos, and my doctor simply wasn’t satisfied with that answer.
While I am and will always be grateful that he was observant enough to find my cancer in the first place, I knew I couldn’t continue to see him for further treatment because of his anger. I needed a doctor who understood empathy and delivered medical information with compassion.
Navigating Fear After a Mesothelioma Diagnosis
After that appointment, Christian and I carried on. His birthday dinner went very well and was a lovely distraction for a while.
But when it was time to go to bed, I stayed awake for hours, looking up everything I could find on the internet about mesothelioma. That was a huge rookie mistake — but it’s also human nature to try to understand what we’re dealing with when it’s new territory for us.
All the information out there on the prognosis for mesothelioma was so grim. I was devastated. And putting on a mask while interacting with other people was excruciating. I couldn’t tell anyone anything for a while because I simply didn’t know what was going to happen.
Christian was also devastated by the news, but he never doubted that I was going to get through it. He wasn’t going to let me travel down this path alone.
The Not-So-Fun Cancer Conversations
We didn’t share the news widely until the surgery and treatment plans were in place. When we did tell people about my cancer, some conversations were more difficult than others. Any long-term illness, particularly cancer, makes people uncomfortable. They don’t know what to say or do. They want to make you feel like they understand what you are feeling.
“The truth is that the only people who genuinely understand what you are going through are those who have experienced it themselves.”
The most challenging experience for Christian and me has been talking to people who want to see a happy ending to this disease. They want the comfort of knowing that the cancer is completely gone and will never return so they can stop worrying.
Unfortunately, that’s not always the case with cancer — much less mesothelioma. During these conversations, we just smile and let them know how things are going right now. Because tomorrow, things can change.
Mesothelioma Treatment: Glimmers of Hope Amid Difficulties
My surgical team did everything in their power to help me. They researched. They talked to doctors from other hospitals all over the country. My oncologist worked alongside Dr. Paul Sugarbaker to learn how to do the hyperthermic intraperitoneal chemotherapy (HIPEC) procedure. It was inspiring how hard they worked to save my life.
Unfortunately, there were a lot of complications after surgery. Some of the areas in my abdomen that were healing suddenly opened back up. I would get so sick from chemotherapy that I would be right back at the hospital within two days of my infusion.
The physical pain was unbearable, even with medication. And heaven help me if a member of the hospital staff didn’t know how to use my chest port and tried to get an IV in my arm instead. My veins would roll like crazy, and my arms ended up being full of holes and bruises to match.
But the nurses at the hospital were always so kind to me. Regardless of what was happening, no matter how often I was there, they were all angels in scrubs.
Why Choosing the Right Specialist Is Crucial
I don’t know if this applies to other survivors, but my experience has shown me that more needs to be done to treat the patient holistically.
After my surgery, I worried about changes to my body from scar tissue and nerve damage. I was told most surgeons don’t see it as an issue because survival rates are low, and many older patients aren’t concerned with their appearance.
“Mesothelioma patients should be treated through a less dismissive and more holistic approach.”
I had a lot of complications from surgery and treatment, and I struggled for a long time with how to move forward with my new, fragile body. I still deal with pain and body dysmorphia daily.
Finding a mesothelioma specialist who hears and sees you is important, so you can get the care you need and deserve.
Use our Free Doctor Match service to get help finding the right specialist for you.
From Survivor’s Guilt to Second Chances
I’ve survived mesothelioma for over 18 years now. Since mesothelioma has no cure, I fear I will have to deal with it again someday. It doesn’t necessarily keep me from living life, but the thoughts still float through my mind. This is why I believe working with a therapist and finding support resources are so helpful.
Sometimes, I am overwhelmed with survivor’s guilt. For the first 5 or 6 years after treatment, it was absolutely gut-wrenching for me when someone would pass away from cancer — even if I didn’t know them. The ache is less these days, but it still hurts.
Of course, I want to live my best life during this absolutely amazing second chance I’ve been given. But in this particular area, I have trouble following my own advice: Mine is not to understand. Mine is to accept.
I will probably always have a hard time understanding why I am still here when so many others, especially those who have children or parents who need them, are gone. My heart hurts for those they leave behind, and I cannot make anyone’s pain go away.
My Inspiration to Keep Fighting Mesothelioma
My number one source of inspiration is my husband Christian. The relationships I’ve developed over the years have also inspired me, from friends who were there for me throughout my journey to those I’ve met along the way.
The mesothelioma community has afforded me an incredible opportunity to meet others who have either been diagnosed with this same type of cancer or who have a family member battling this illness. It’s such a gift to be even a small part of their corner of the world.
“I also hold onto the little joys and fun things in our lives. I’ve recently cultivated official cat lady status. We have eight indoor cats and two outdoor cats, and just about all the neighborhood felines come to visit us. It might seem a little chaotic, but we love every single one of them.”
A lady I knew from my time working at the boutique was diagnosed with colon cancer. She was kind enough to share her journey with me. She told me she was inspired by how I seemed to handle things with such grace during my own journey. And because of how she saw me, she knew that she could get through her trials with grace as well.
Mesothelioma Hope: Helping People Fight This Rare Cancer
The whole Mesothelioma Hope team thanks Alexis for her vulnerability and willingness to share her powerful story of survival.
Thanks to treatment advances, stories of hope and survival are becoming more common. You can read other firsthand accounts in our Free Mesothelioma Survivors Guide.
“My wife is always going to be there for me, and I’m honored to always be there for her. Look what we’ve already gone through together. We can make it through anything as long as we’re holding hands.”
If you or someone you love has been diagnosed with this cancer, our Patient Advocates are here to help. We can help you connect with top mesothelioma specialists and pursue financial compensation for treatment — call (866) 608-8933 now to get started.
